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Friday, February 25, 2011

The growth "fruits" of a baby

I'm sure that ALL dads-to-be have wondered, "If I compare the size of my baby in Hot Mama's oven to a fruit, I wonder what it would be?"  We've all done it right?  I don't think so....and neither did I, BUT, unbeknownst to me, Hot Mama signed up for weekly pregnancy emails (http://www.babycenter.com/) to update us on the progress of the baby AND it compares the baby to a fruit, seed or veggie and sometimes even a crustacean.  I have to admit, some Monday's I've been at the office and BAM it hits me, <gasp> "It's Monday!  Time to see what Jr is the size of this week!"

Here it is....starting at week 4:

Week 4, the size of a poppy seed.  Already we're off to a bad start, if you eat poppy seeds and have a drug test...BAM, you failed and got fired....not cool, Jr got fired right off the bat.

Week 5, the size of a sesame seed.  "2 All beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun."  Getting better...love me some burga's!

Week 6, the size of a lentil.  Normally I wouldn't know what this was, but Hot Mama looooves to experiment with recipes, most good, a few bad....so we got this chicken thighs and lentil recipe (its like a little bean)  She thought it was a great recipe'...until she found out what they do to me...she X'd that recipe' off the list due to unpleasing aroma.

Week 7, the size of a blueberry.  Blueberries are good, lots of antioxidants!

Week 8, the size of a kidney bean.  Can you say chili!  woowooo.

Week 9, the size of a grape. "Your baby has grown to the size of a grape, weighs a fraction of an ounce, and is almost 1 inch long."  That's kinda cool huh? 

Week 10, the size of a kumquat.  REALLY?  A whaaa?  I am offended that this site would size my baby up as a kumquat....SURELY there's a better comparison?  What is that anyways?

Week 11, the size of a fig.  Better than a kumquat, at least I know what a fig is.

Week 12, the size of a lime.  Ah ha!  I know of several good uses for a lime!  I wonder if the baby was ever that color green?  Where's the salt???

Week 13, the size of a medium shrimp.  "Let's see, you got shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, shrimp kabobs, fried shrimp, boiled shrimp....." From the famous philosopher, Bubba Gump himself

Week 14, the size of a lemon.  So, I guess a lemon is bigger than a lime?  Probably a "sour" subject b/t these 2 citruses....

Week 15, the size of an apple.  A kumquat?  I'm still not over that....I'm officially changing that to a small plum....THERE, now I feel better!

Week 16, the size of an avocado.  Arrrriba!  At least we went from lime green to dark green....I've heard the first diaper is going to look like mushy black avocado...Guacamole will never be the same...

Week 17, the size of a turnip.  We have now gone to roots....by the way, the baby is around 5 ounces.

Week 18, the size of a bell pepper.  I love me some bell pepper, specially on pizza!

Week 19, the size of an heirloom tomato.  I'm not passing down my baby, so let's not compare Jr. to a passed down mater....capiche?

Week 20, the length of a banana.  So, 3 weeks ago Jr. was 5 ounces, now he's 10 inches long?  WOW!

Week 21, the length of a carrot.  Cool, we've got a rabbit on our mural in the baby's room...did you know that carrots help develop eyes and vision? 

Week 22, the size of a spaghetti squash.  You'd think this veggie would be slender, but alas, it is oblong and quite big around...whoever named it "spaghetti" squash, doesn't eat the same sketti as muah....

Week 23, the size of a large Mango.  I've gotta throw in that I LOVE me some Buffalo Wild Wings Mango Habarnero sauce...the first bite it tastes soooo sweet and yummy, them a few seconds later BAM, mouth is afire....great sensation....

Week 24, the size of an Ear of Corn.   Jr. is up to about 1.25 pounds now!  Unreal!  You know you can use canned kernel corn as bream or trout fishing bait....I'm all about the fishing!  Speaking of fishing, I've got maybe 3 weeks left to get some good fishing in.

Week 25, the size of a rutabaga.  Aiight, I have heard of one of these thangs, but I have no idea what it is, but the name rutabaga does sound kinda sexy.  In my mysterious voice..."Hey Hot Mama, can you pass me some rutabaga?"

Week 26, the size of a English Hothouse Cucumber.  What can't they just say cucumber?  Well, I guess at 14 inches and almost 2 pounds, they gotta be specific!  That's one big pickle!  <singing> "Wheeeere is my hairbrush?"

Week 27, the size of a Head of Cauliflower.  No color, no flavor, I would have maybe picked grapefruit for this week, but they didn't ask me....

Week 28, the size of Chinese Cabbage.  If you used Chinese Cabbage in coleslaw, would it then be Chinese Coleslaw?  Oh , and an FYI....China is the #1 English speaking country in the world....crazy huh?

Week 29, the size of a Butternut Squash.  Ok, story telling time....Hot Mama is very health conscious, and a couple weeks before this week came up, she was craving a recipe for a stew that included butternut squash and was talking about how it's so nutritious!  Butternut squash this, butternut squash that......well, the night we started making the butternut squash recipe, there was NO butternut squash in the fridge....yep, she forgot it at the grocery store that week...but, we made the recipe' anyways, without the butternut squash!  At the end of the meal, I looked over at her, put my hand on her shoulder and with the straightest face I could muster, I said, "Honey, this is the BEST butternut squash soup, I've EVER had."  Now that's true love....

Week 30, the size of a Cabbage.  Ahh, normal coleslaw, where's my fried catfish, fries and hush puppies?

Week 31, weighs as much as 4 navel oranges.  This baby is starting to pack on the weight!

Week 32, weighs as much as a large jicama.  That's about 3.75 pounds just in case you didn't know what a jicama is....you do know right? 

Week 33, weighs as much as a pineapple.  Tropical again!  This is one of my favorite fruits...catch these things in season and fresh....<slappin' my momma>

Week 34, weighs as much as a cantaloupe.  Uh oh, you know you are getting close when they describe your baby as a melon!

Week 35, weighs as much as a honeydew.  Speaking of honey"dos", since Hot Mama is getting bigger and has a harder time moving around, I end up graciously doing more things around the house.  But she has this habit of instead of asking me to do one thing, she ends up speaking in lists of about 5-6 at a time!  "Honey, can you clean the bathroom, and honey can you cook supper, and honey, can you ...(Insert Charlie Brown teacher voice here, b/c I'm lost)"

Week 36, is the size of a Crenshaw Melon.  Not quite sure what a Crenshaw melon is either, but I know most of you probably googled a jicama...was it like a potato or some kinda spud?  Oh yeah, up to about 6 pounds by the way....(this is what week we are on now, but I'll go ahead and tell you the last few to not keep you hangin'....that's the way I roll)

Week 37, as long as a stalk of swiss chard.  Some type of lettuce that's about 19 inches long!

Week 38, as long as a leek.  This is Alexander on Veggie Tales if y'all have ever seen that?

Week 39, we are up to the weight of a mini watermelon.  A watermelon is definitely one of the best things in the world, Smith County Watermelons are thebomb.com

Week 40, the GRAND Finale'....the size of a small pumpkin.  In Childbirthing class, D told us that 14 pounds was the biggest baby they've delivered.....Fourt.......een......pounds!  All the women in the class were groaning....."Not me!"  HA

Ok, so we went from Poppy Seed to a Pumpkin...from a spice to a jack-o-lantern...cool stuff.  My biggest complaint is there was no week dedicated to the Okra.  The Okra may not have been on here, but it will never be forgotten!  Go Fighting OKRA!

1 comment:

  1. An engineer could have come up with a much better list with things that are more precise. buckshot, marble, golf ball, pool ball, baseball, softball, football, etc. I mean after all there are many different sizes of carrots.

    ReplyDelete