Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Breast Feeding for Dummies

Do a little dance, make a little love, breast feeding class tonight!  Actually, I am really enthusiastic about dropping Hot Mama off for HER class and headin' out to the Bass Pro!  I thought this was a great tradeoff, she learns how to BF and I can expand my knowledge of fishing (which is my favorite thing to do in the world....with my clothes on anyways) ;-)

I'm driving Hot Mama to the first ever class we were going to and we get a little lost trying to find the place.  My buddy Jeff gave me a call on the way and I finally had to cut him off, "Jeff, I'm trying to find my BF class, so can I call you later?"  After about 5 full seconds of stunned silence, Jeff (a father of 2) laughed so hard he couldn't hold the phone!

We finally find the place and when we walk in, the moment of truth....CRAP, 15+ couples there including the guys <sigh>  Hot Mama is just a grinning, and I'm thinking I got conned again!!...how did this happen twice??!?!  Glancing around the room I see all these pregnant women just a smiling and giggly and happy, I'm talking GLOWING!  Then I notice all the guys have their heads in their lap and playing on their cell phones, so I naturally assume the same position.  We were a minute or two late because we didn't know where we were going so we sit in the front row and now it's time to introduce ourselves and guess who goes first?!?!  uuuugghhhhh  Our teacher D, asks us to say who we are, when we are due and why we are here.  She then says, "I know you "guys" are here because there's a "video" right?"  At this moment, it was like a bunch of synchronized swimmers...all us guys pull our heads out of our lap, perk up and start thinking, video? "Maybe this class won't be so bad."

After introducing myself enthusiastically as someone that was here to learn about BF and hearing everyone's due dates, etc., D, the teacher, goes into her spill of how important BF is for the baby.  Did you know that every mom produces the milk specific for the baby?  If the baby was born premature, the mom's body knows this and the milk has higher amounts of protein specifically for that baby so it will grow faster.  They've even found that BF babies vs bottle fed babies have a higher IQ.  That's just pretty cool and I'll forever be amazed at God's creation.  Fist bump to you God for thinking of EVERYTHING and creating moms that can adapt to their baby's needs....unreal.  D also said that the mom always produces the right amount of milk even if the mom has twins!  I gotta admit, I thought about ya here Carrie...how are them quads doing by the way?  And bless your heart!

After the education on why it's good to BF (which was actually very interesting to me, btw), D goes into how you do it.  Yep, I'm starting to get a little squirmy now as we talk about "latching on" etc.  At this point, I turn to Hot Mama and give her the "tag you're it" and say, "You soaking all this in, cuz I ain't gonna remember this stuff?"  She said, "They'll be at the hospital with us to help coach us through it while we are there."  Of course I say, "Then why are we HERE?"  Lawd, why in the world are we sitting through a 2 hour class when they gonna be "hands on" at the hospital?  "Can I go to the bathroom and beat my head against the wall now?"

Next is "the video" to illustrate what we have just learned.  I'm not going to go into detail, but way to go ladies in the video....y'all made it look easy...  When the video was over, all us guys put ours heads back in our lap and pull the cell phones back out.  If they were doing what I was doing, they were posting on their FB status, "At BF class supporting my awesome wife and just watched an 'exciting' video on how it's done."  My whole world is gonna change.

One note D did mention is there is a BF support group around town that can help you in your quest to BF your baby.  She said, "They're a little extreme in their methods, meaning they BF their babies up to age 4 to 6 years old, but it does make them an expert at it."  Seriously?  That is getting into the husband deprivation category if you ask me! 

After about and hour and a half of minor misery, I really did get some good info and the sucking class really didn't "suck" after all. 

The video saved it......


  1. O.K. I will pass on this subject. Catch you on the next one....... you say it was a good video, huh?

  2. This one has me laughing so hard!!! Okay first of all though I haven't met Hot Mama... I LOVE HER!!! And I so wish I could have seen your face when she said she wanted to start with BF!! Awesome! Yes, Mama's milk is one of God's most genius creations... and yes Moms make enough supply to meet the demand.. for me yep, that was bad. :)

  3. bahahaha!!! Loving the blogs!