what is this baby REALLY thinking?

Man, I've got to tell ya, this baby thing is so much fun so far!  We had the 2 week checkup today and everything looks great!  I have to say, he did put a little "pressure" on the doctor when she was examining him....Junior was getting checked out and whizzzzzzz, there he goes again....peeing on the doctor, I swear, this kid pees on everyone he sees!  The funny part is she caught it really fast and kept the pee from getting on everything, but once she got out a new diaper, Junior had reloaded!  HA...got her that second time big time!  Doctor, "You little stinker, you weren't finished were you?"  I envisioned him responding, "You ain't seen nothing yet....wait until I get a little gas in my system.(insert Dracula laugh)"

What really gets to me, is I can almost feel it, when he's about to pee on me...ya see my rule of thumb is this, when he's all fussy and crying and kickin'...no problem, 90% chance, he's not in a peein' mood at the moment.  However, if Junior is laying there all calm and staring at me....I better keep my guard up, because it's a 90% chance I'm about to get showered!  A couple days ago I was changing his diaper and found that little circumcision ring had fallen off, so I walked over a few feet and gave it to hot mamma to show her...next thing I know I hear the sound of pitter pattering rain hitting the walmart sack in the garbage can beside the changing table!  I'm talking this kid, who is currently not mine, but hot mamma's, was peeing so big it ended up almost 3 feet up the wall beside the changing table and was running down the wall like Niagara Falls!  Seriously?  I'm talking I had to use wipes on the table, the wall, both shelves and I was even using the wet wipes to wipe off the wet wipes box!  I finished cleaning him up and gave him back to hot mamma to nurse and he ripped about manly fart.....there ya go!  I'm claiming him again.... ;-)

So what do you think these babies are thinking anyways?  I know Junior can't talk, but he's got to be thinking something right?  Here's what I think he's thinking at times.

I told you about keeping my guard up when Junior is laying there all calm ready for me to change his diaper.  So there he is, hands behind his head, staring at me with his eyes with that cute little breathing.  (Junior) "So....I know what you are thinkin'...how long ago WAS it that I peed last....was it 5 minutes ago, or an hour....the question is daddy...do you feel....lucky?" 

I also had a friend of mine last post ask me if we repeat the things we say to Junior....and of course that answer is yes!  Now I catch myself repeating some things and just start laughing! HA  So, I can imagine that Junior is probably thinking, "Uhhhh daddy...I hate to say this, but...you sound like a broken record, and uhhh, you have told me this about a thousand times....either take your meds or stop telling me 'I'm cute!'"

Why is it that babies don't like it when you change their diaper or change their clothes?  It amazes me that they can sleep through just about anything, but you change clothes or a diaper and BAM, instant crying or kicking or both!  Junior, "Seriously mommy!  Can you please just pick ONE friggin' onezy for me to wear for a day....nooo not that one...cuz, I'm too sexy for this onezy, too sexy for this onezy, sooo sexy it huuuuurts."

Hot Mamma and I have so much fun playing with Junior and sometimes we've got to mess with him to keep him awake to eat.  Hot Mamma, "Ok Junior, you better wake up...yeah, you better wake up!"  Notice the repetitiveness?  ;-)  Junior, "Yeah yeah, I hear ya...what you gonna do about it, and what's a baby gotta do to get some sleep around here?"  Hot Mamma, "Daddy's fixin' to go get a wet rag if you don't wake up and eeeeeaatttt!"  As I bring back the cold wet rag, I can look into Junior's eyes cutting over to me and I can read his eyes, "You got that rag huh daddy, who's side are you on??....that's ok, you'll be changing my diaper in a minute, I got the wall last couple times, but my aim is getting better!"

On a side note here guys...those of you that haven't had a baby or not a boy, listen up.  They have these gowns that they can wear and I was a little bothered about Junior wearing one of these since he is a MAN...well let me tell you something....when you are getting up at 2 and 5 in the morning to change a diaper, let me tell ya, them gowns are SUPER nice because all you have to do is pull that thing up to their belly and bam! there's your diaper.  That opposed to un-buttoning a onezy (which is not bad) or taking off a pair of pants or jammies....I'm telling ya, the gown is the WAY TO GO! 

More stories and baby thoughts to come.....